Getting A Sense of Barcelona

Barcelona looks like thousands of china plates smashed into minute shards and reassembled into architectural masterpieces of curves and spirals.

Barcelona sounds like a swollen tongue with a distinctive lisp and infinite roll of the R that resounds the seductive allure of an endangered language.

Barcelona smells like a Catalonian cologne concocted of cured meats, roasted cocoa and a dash of Mediterranean Sea breeze.

Barcelona tastes like explosive bites of marinated culture; a kaleidoscope of pickled onions, artichokes and cherry tomatoes.

Barcelona feels like a step back into a forgotten memory with the crisp fresh air nipping at your cheeks as you cycle through the narrow alleyways carved from gothic stone.

Barcelona is a city to come back to. 

Tribute to Panama: Not Before Coffee

This is a Spoken Word Poem thing with a melodic twist performed on a rooftop for my beloved travelling buddies on the 20th of Jan 2013.

A reunion in Panama, an adventure for three

The Isles of San Blas, strips of sand with coconut trees

All sickly pale and in desperate need
of sun rays and sunshine
on aqua carribean seeeeeeas

but noooooooot...before coffee

Barefoot treks through a jungle marquee 

Santa Fe was the next destination for three
Bound for the waterfalls, we sunk to our knees

In horse shit and spit, not a soul heard our pleeeeeeeas

but nooooooooot...before coffee

On the shores of Bocas we lived by the sea
Above an open sewerage that amazingly didn't reek
Sprawled out on the pier, with a ciggy and a beeeeeeeer
but noooooooot....before coffee

Backpacks reloaded on a water taxi
We arrived in Bastimentos, a jungle drumming oasis

In the Bushman's Kitchen we waited hours for a feed
But it was so worth the chef being high on his weeeeeeed...

thank Goooooooood we had our organic, Up On The Hill coffee

Things took a turn with an addition to the team

dynamics made a change and a Brazillian took the lead

carried our bags, booked hotels, ordered our food, translated our requests...

actually that's fiiiiiiiiiiine before coffee

In Santiago was a lesson about the humble abalone
I learned not to eat something that numbs your body
Thank goodness I had friends to take me to Emergncyyyyy
Unfortunately for them it was waaaaaaaayyyy before coffee

To Santa Catalina's Pacific with depths of murky

In search of the shark whale, its sight a rarity

All but one was equipped for the sea

Daca got cocky and then struggled to breeeeeeeeeathe

but nooooooot before coffee

We concluded our time with one more to the three

The four of us together made wonderful memories
We raised our glasses and toasted 2013
A bright new beginning in Panama Cityyyyyyyyyyy

(all together now!)

BUT NOOOOOOOOOT BEFORE COFFEEEEE

Microworlds

Since the 22nd of November 2012, I have been blessed with the luxury of travel and landed in the U S of A. In the days and weeks following, I hand-balled myself from friend to friend, family to family in State to State with the question of 'meaning' in the foreground of my mind.

The full itinerary I had in North American leg of my-round-the-world trip was a testament to the loving friends I have made over the years and the family members I share a name and blood with.

Unfortunately I haven't figured out the advanced abilities of the iPad and the various apps for this blog to include photos...but hopefully these words paint a nice picture:

welcomed into homes 
beckoned into arms
with eyes just as wide
i peep into lives

i wander through worlds
see differences in reality

i perceive what is

i see what could be

i formulate a life 

i believe suits me

Thank you so much to family and friends who have so kindly hosted me in LA, San Jose, San Fran, New Jersey, Philadelphia, New York and Quebec (it's Canada, I know). Thank you for sharing a piece of your world. You have all inspired me in one way or another and feel pure gratitude and joy to be part of your life.

In a world that is shrinking, I'll see y'all again one day! 
Happy New Year!
XOX

Love vs Live

A woman of worldliness blinks back tears and quells the waiver in her voice.

Her life of transience has granted her no favours in relationship longevity.

"Why won't you fight for me?"

"Because I know I'll lose."

She braces herself as her heart retreats.

"The Love I want to give, isn't the Love you need. So this is the only way I can."

"Goodbye."

Consolidating

In my sojourn at home, I've had a lot of time for myself to sort things out- internally and externally.

Internally...I've always been quite aware of what's going on in my head and heart in the philosophical sense. So, when it comes to pondering life...easy! I can move through the motions and make an interpretive dance of it.

Like this:

Externally...I'm like this:

Attempting to consolidate my Super Funds

What does this all MEAN!?!

Still a long ways until I attain 'true' balance. I'm thinking...I need to find me a partner who understands this stuff! 

Blast from the Past Deb

Today I received a letter from myself written well over a year ago before my mobilisation back to Cambodia for my final stint with Senhoa. 

30/9/11

Dear Future Me,

You had heaps of fun in Canberra and hopefully this warm, fuzzy feeling will resonate as you read this.

By this time, I reckon you’ll have collected a whole heap of new memories and fingers crossed a bit of humility amongst them.

What you’ve done is bloody awesome and so far removed from ‘normal folk’ everyday stuff and that makes YOU pretty awesome. BUT just let people figure that out! Get off that grand standing soapbox! As long as you feel within yourself you’re a good person and have done well, that will glow from within and you’ll be a delight all round.

Congratulations 26 year old me!!

Young, fit, healthy and loved. What more can you ask for?

Actually…it’ll be good if you learn how to save…or earn money for that matter…

Love you, love me.

-Past Me

Obviously I felt that I was getting to a point of unbearable cockiness. I had to tell myself to reign it back! However still, I proceeded to self-praise. Contradictory? Nah. 

For me to learn to accept compliments, I had to learn how to compliment myself so that when I did receive nice words it wouldn't go to my head, blow up my ego, or seem like I was feigning modesty. I would absorb and let it reaffirm that I'm on the right track; people see in me what I see in myself. 

What more can I ask for? 

Saying Goodbye

In a transient town such as Siem Reap, saying 'goodbye' is an event that occurs heart-breakingly (and in time, brain-numbingly) often.

I have been around for all sorts of goodbyes so naturally I have also been present for a lot of hellos. And the contrast between the start and finish of a relationship is...amazing. It is from this observation that inspired me to write:

A cool dismissal, an abrupt departure

A lengthy embrace, and yearning there after

A relationship reflected in that final goodbye

A smile of fond memories or regretful sigh

Possibilities explored with new wisdoms collected

Possibilities not opened if otherwise rejected

Indifference at worst, kindred spirits at best

A journey for one with many to connect

A clash of chemistry or conversational flow

A path that is embarked with a simple ‘hello’

And since having said 'Goodbye' to my beloved friends of Siem Reap, I feel blessed to have that many important people in my life to make me cry and miss dearly. 

My Farewell at Jungle Junction

My last hoorah with the students

But in the end it's not just 'bye'. It is just 'good'.